Hiiii :)
I hope everyone in the UK surrounded by snow has been keeping safe and staying nice and warm! We've had quite a lot of snow in Suffolk but as I'm right on the coast it's normally too damp for snow to settle which some would say is a good thing but I think is bad, snow makes everything look extra pretty! I woke up today feeling the best I have in a long time so Alex and I decided to go out for a walk drive and get out the car for 5 minutes in the snow. It felt quite weird for us both as the last time we saw snow was 14 months ago whilst climbing up a mountain, and today all I could manage was a few feet, it puts things into perspective and definitely makes me feel miserable! I couldn't stay out long as the cold does trigger pain, but we both had fun and Alex enjoyed seeing England covered in snow for the first time!

As we pulled over to let another car pass a little Robyn appeared out of my window :)

Cute horses in the snow

Alexandru skidding haha

Snowball time!

The best day I've had in ages! Stay safe everyone!
Lots of Love from a very chilly Hayley-Eszti x

I hope the first week of 2013 has been good for you all, everyone seems to be getting back into routine now, back to school/college/uni/work and such, isn't the holiday comedown rubbish! I'm currently in the middle of a post Christmas/New Year relapse which sucks massively, it was to be expected though as I tend to go into them when there has been an overdose of activities, I'm under extra stress or out of routine etc. My body works like a really old battery and when I loose power it takes weeks or sometimes even months to recharge, and the recharging phase it always tricky. I can hardly stand or lift my own limbs and when I get this bad I literally need help with every part of day to day life from eating to bathing to moving position, I find that side of it very hard to deal with because it makes me feel like I am either 1 or 90 I can't quite work it out. I turn 21 in a few weeks and can't help but think about what I would (and should!) be doing with my life :(

I've also been thinking quite a lot recently about what direction this blog is going in. I have been finding it difficult to find the energy to blog recently as the smallest task takes everything out of me but it is something I want to continue to do and although I like to share what life is like with a serious illness and it was a big part of why I decided to start blogging in the first place, but I don't want to just blog about that because there is a lot more to me than that, but I never do anything as I am always house bound so inspiration is often short. I am thinking a few things over in my head though and if you have any thoughts of things you might want me to write about or share get in touch :)

I think the fact that I feel like I have lost my identity to an illness may come across in my blog. It's like I can hardly remember what I was like before. I hate to sound all depressive and negative but I swore from the start I would always be honest and I feel that I desperately need to be reminded of who I was, and actually still am underneath all that grey medical fog.

On a lighter note, my very good friend Rebecca Leech created this picture of me (DJ-ing at a house party a few years ago haha)

Lyrics taken from one of my favourite songs, Every part of you by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros go and have a listen here !

Take care, Lots of Love,
Hayley-Eszti :)



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