Types of people on Instagram

Oh Instagram, how we love you. You're the place where teens go to escape their Facebook using parents. You're the place people visit whilst they use the bathroom (I know you do it, don't deny it) And you're the place I can catch up with the hundreds of friends I've met from all over the world, all thanks to you. You little cupid you! You're great, but don't let all of those likes go to your head, you still have flaws. Sometimes your unwritten politics baffle me. Why does it have to be 11 likes before it gets that little heart? What's so great about the number 11 anyway? Sometimes you break, sometimes you freeze, and sometimes (all the time) you play me the video audio, but not the actual video. 

As a little bit of Instagram themed fun, here's a list of the types of people on Instagram. If you like it, double tap it. Nothing will happen but I need your likes to feel socially accepted and loved.




The foodie/fitness freak
Pretty photos of healthy meals and mirror shots of sexy abs and toned bodies. These are the accounts to avoid if you just broke up with your diet or have not been to the gym in a while. Anybody can create a food account, all you need to start you off is a bowl of granola, some pretty fruit and some decorative flowers. I'm not mocking though, anything that promotes a healthy lifestyle in my eyes is a positive thing, it just might not be a positive thing for my self esteem after scrolling through a feed of fit bodies, only to see my own body full of flabby bits looking back at me in the mirror!



The positive quoter 
Positive quotes are taking over the world. Positive mind quote, positive vibes Instagram feed, positive life likes.



The unstoppable hashtagger
Nobody can stop that hashtagger. They will hashtag anything that pops into their head. The hashtag quite often doesn't even have anything to do with the photo in question.
#nobody #can #stop #them #onedirection #justinbieber #love #happy #happiness #igers #instadaily #fun #like #follow #lol #i #heart #hashtags #blue #white #crazy #book #booklover #girl #green #eyes #fashion #skyporn #monday #cat 


The anything goes
These are the people who will upload anything and everything. They just don't care oh-oh there's a party over there, oh-oh! Lolz omg now I have an S club 7 song in my head so I'll upload a screenshot of S club 7 cos I loved them back in da day. They'll add Sclub to their feed full of photos of the sky, photos of an empty plate, photos of their TV screen from a distance, photos of a window. Photos of one of their eyeballs. Maybe even a video of their feet as they walk down the street.



The one with all the selfies
Obsessive selfie taking is a common sight these days. Chances are you probably follow an obsessive selfie taker. They are probably likely to be a shameless selfie in public kind of person, you know the ones that you spot posing with their front camera on their own. That peak time public transport selfie took guts, you should probably give it a like to show your admiration for their bravery/need to get their hourly fix of pouting and posing.

The ones who upload a facebook album all at once
Have you ever strolled down your feed and somebody you are following thought people would love to see 100+ photos of their hilarious night out at that club? We all know someone who likes to upload every photo they took that night, AKA The most annoying people to have on your feed. You may have followed them once upon a time but you probably unfollowed them when you couldn't take the torture any longer. There's only so many photos of your friend posing in the club with a bottle of WKD in one hand and the other in the air with their tongue out captioned 'Whey! I'm still drunk whey! Sick night wiv ma girls!' If you do this here's a bit of friendly advice: Upload the FACEBOOK album to FACEBOOK where people have the option to view it. Insta ain't the place for that, choose a couple of the best ones for IG and the world will laugh at your drunk face wichya.


The strictly stick to a theme
Themed instagram accounts seem to be quite popular and more often than not they come from the arty types, or people that used to be/still are addicted to Tumblr. I guess they couldn't break out of the habit. Themes can be anything from everything strictly black and white, everything tropical, geek chic, everything minimalistic. But what do they do when they have a great photo that doesn't go with their theme?! The torture must be unbearable! 



The life story as a caption.
Don't worry, I won't bore you with my life story here. Does anybody even read those essay length captions anyway?


The animal fanatic
Basically every photo is of their cat, dog, goldfish, rabbit or bird. They love their pets and their feed shows it. They are like a proud Mum, they probably have taken a photo of their pets feces with pride. MY DOG DID A POO OF PERFECT COLOUR AND CONSISTENCY, GOSH I LOVE MY DOG SO MUCH I'VE GOT TO PHOTOGRAPH THIS PERFECT LIL' DOGGY POO! Hopefully they thought twice about uploading it. Save that one for your desktop background proud animal parents.

*This is my dog. I love him in all of his perfect poop glory but this is not what my Instagram looks like*

Some slightly more annoying people on Instagram include:

The Insta snobs AKA Followers: 1million - following: 2 

This is even more annoying if you are a celebrity. Everyone already knows how cool you are, you don't need to prove it by doing this. Following back some fans will make their entire life, so quit being an Instagram snob and start following some people back :)

The CLEARLY FAKE accounts from Topshop/British Airways/Asda/Thorpe Park

You know the ones where they claim that the first 1000000 followers will win £1000000 worth of free stuff. It's so obvious these are fake, but I still see people screenshoting them as they begin their lifelong wait for their prize to arrive at their door. 

'shoutout pages' 

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Do you fall into any of these categories? What types of people on Instagram do you think belong in the 'annoying' section? 

P.S. I'm on Instagram! @hayley_eszti

P.P.S. This post is all in good fun and is not intended to be offensive. Leave your Instagram usernames below for me to check out! 

P.P.P.S. I'm now using Disqus for the comment section, I've been wanting to make the switch for a while now, I think it is more user friendly for everyone, not just for those on blogger. You can sign in via Google, Twitter, Facebook or sign up to Disqus, which only takes a few seconds :)



Peace & likes!



35 comments

  1. HAHAHA omg this is so funny! You are hilarious, I find it funny when normal non famous people have 'official *their name* as their username!

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    1. Haha thank you! Ohh me too, why do they do that?!

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  2. This is bloody hilarious! As a non-instagrammer, I've personally not experienced the network other than the odd skim through a friend's photos but I do know the divisions of the site. Great job at classifying them in such a comical way. xx

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    1. Thanks! I love Instagram though, in all of it's categorised glory. I'm not sure which I fall into though...

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  3. Ha! Very funny Hayley! I think I'm a positive quoter, I can't refuse a positive quote pic! Great and funny post!

    Lucy

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    1. Thank you, Lucy! I love a positive quote as much as the next person, I have an entire Pinterest board full of 'em!

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  4. This is brilliant!!!! :D

    Lorna

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  5. This is so accurate! So nice to see your humour coming through :)
    Enjoy the rest of your weekend

    Rebecca

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  6. Haha this is fantastic & gave me such a giggle! I personally adore Instagram & I think I likely fall into the anything goes category. xxxx

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    1. Me too! I'm really not sure what I am, I guess I'm an anything goes gal too!

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  7. Haha! Amazing!
    http://my--socalledlife.blogspot.com.es/

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  8. This post is so great! I can tell you put tons of work into it, and it's just fantastic! This is a hundred times better than any of the similar buzzfeed articles I've seen on this topic! I think I might be the unstoppable hashtagger! However, it does annoy me when people use completely unrelated hashtags to what is actually in the photo! I see this on tumblr a lot too!

    Owl Girl | A London lifestyle blog

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    1. Thank you Candy! I've never noticed your hashtagging before so it can't be that bad? Unrelated hashtags are annoying though, I bet if you searched #onedirection around 1% of photos would actually be of One Direction!

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  9. Indeed, what's up with those fake? I'm an animal, selfie, all of it in once instagrammer :)

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    1. I don't know?! All of it at once Instagrammer sounds good to me!

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  10. I feel really old when you mention kids shunning facebook because it's full of their parents! I love this post and you've summed up the typical instagrammers perfectly.

    Ann x
    Prattle and Froth

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    1. Haha oh no! Its so true though, the parents haven't yet made their way to IG yet, although I know one Mum of teens who uploads arse selfies on hers IG... SO cringe!

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  11. Haha this made me smile great post, I've no idea what category I fit into, maybe you can be the judge my instagram is - http://instagram.com/itsmelaurajade :)

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    1. Thank you! Ohh I'm not sure, you're a #nocategory haha

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  12. This is the funniest thing I've read in ages & I am an anything goer...yikes!! Thank you for such a good giggle which was very much needed tonight xx

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    1. Haha thanks Ali! I'm glad it made you laugh!

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  13. haha this is so true and funny! I like your writing style great post x

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  14. Hayley you're hilarious. This was a joy to read.

    Howtodealwithme.blogspot.com

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    1. Well.. what can I say? *Hair flicks* haha only joking, I'm glad you enjoyed it Queeny!

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  15. OMG best post I have read all day. I am definitely in the "Anything goes" category... sometimes I want to have a theme but that's too much work. I do not have time for all white everything or all cute everything. lol

    Jessica
    the.pyreflies.org

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    1. Oh I know, a lot of my friends are themed IG'ers and one redecorated their whole bedroom to get good selfies to match their theme hahaha!

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  16. lol your too funny Hayley! I'm falling into a few of these categories lol. You describe these groups so well hehe!

    Lennae xxx
    www.lennae87.wordpress.com

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    1. Thanks Lennae! You're a 'foodie' with your delicious looking smoothie and smoothie bowls! Glad you liked it!

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  17. This made me laugh because it's SO true!! I agree 100% that people who upload 24566 photos at once are the most annoying type on Instagram, can't help but unfollow! Xx

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  18. This is a wonderful post, Hayley-Eszti. I have never been on instagram, but you have confirmed that it is just like I thought it would be. I may go and check it out now, if one can just go and look.

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