My life with memory loss

Amnesia is the medical term used for memory loss, which is something I have suffered with for a few years now. I've not spoken about it on my blog in depth before as it is something extremely personal to me, but I want to raise awareness and share what it's like as a 22 year old woman to have experienced things in my life, to not remembering a single thing about them.

I first started having difficulty with my memory a few years ago. I don't remember too much about it (funnily enough) but it started with me getting confused with names, and I struggled to put names to faces. I couldn't remember parts of my life or remember things that aren't easy to forget such as the name of the school I went to. Although now I remember more things and many of those lost memories are no longer lost, memory loss is still something that is a part of my everyday life.

I've found ways to cope with it, and I can be lighthearted about it. I can blame me failing almost every question on every TV quiz show on my bad memory, although technically speaking I definitely can't as memory loss doesn't affect a person's intelligence. I'd know that one if it came up on Mastermind!

The best way to describe it would be to say that my mind is full of fog and mist. Some days it's clearer, but some days the fog and mist are stronger which makes it harder to remember things. 

As people, especially as we get older, we need help remembering things. Photographs, videos, talking about memories, even music all help us remember parts of our lives. Sometimes I look at photos and I remember very little about them. Sometimes people ask me if I remember when such and such happened and I have no recollection of anything they are telling me. If I don't write in my diary at the end of the day, the next day I can't complete it as I don't remember enough about the day before to write a truthful entry.  

If you were to look through my mind, it would probably look like the photos above. Those trees that once stood tall that have now been chopped into pieces are some of my memories, they are all jumbled up and confusing. Some may have been taken away to burn, never to be seen again, like some of my memories too.

At the beginning of this year I decided to write down every single thing that made me happy during 2014 in some way, big or small. I am going to read through them at the end of the year in the hope that the notes will help me remember more, and if I don't remember some of the things I read, I have a note of them so at least I know they happened. The one thing that scares me, is not being able to remember some of the good moments in my life, so writing everything down makes me less scared of that. I'm also hoping to start filming more parts of my life. Watching your life back on video is the next best thing to actually living it, and I don't always remember living.

If you have any questions about memory loss as a 20 something, please don't be afraid to ask!

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