What would you do if your whole identity, your whole life and your entire existence is consumed by something you have absolutely no control over and never ever will? If your hopes and dreams for the future were suddenly smashed into a million pieces, never knowing if one day you will be able to piece them all back together or if you will have to accept they will never be achieved.
It's hard to emphasise how tough it is to live with a chronic illness. It's impossible to articulate the impact it can have on your emotions at times. As much as you try to live your life despite of the restrictions and obstacles, there will always be a part of you that longs for your old life. The life you enjoyed before being struck down. The life where you were completely free. Free to live how you pleased. Free to be you.
If you could go back in time and tell a younger you something, would you?
A letter to a healthy me:
Don't take a day for granted.
Don't waste a moment.
Live for the moment.
One day things will change and the things you do now without a second thought will be things you desperately long to do.
Say yes. Say yes to new opportunities and adventure. Yes to life.
Be fearless. Life is too short to be scared of stupid stuff.
Savour the moments where you are truly happy doing what you love with the people you love. Those memories might one day be what you need to get you through the darkest of days when you are alone with only the beeping of the machine you are attached to for company.
Take lots of photos.
Film lots of videos.
Get drunk but never complain about having a hangover. Real suffering warrants complaining. Anything related to vodka definitely doesn't.
Sing at the top of your lungs. Dance. Laugh until your stomach hurts/you pee yourself.
Don't give a shit about what anyone else thinks of you, life is too short to miss out on things because you are worried what others will think or say.
Do YOU and do what you want for your own happiness. Don't waste time trying to please others if it is not pleasing yourself.
Avoid spending the whole day in bed. Someday you won't be able to do anything else but this.
You have a good life right now. You're luckier than you realise - remember that, but most of all remember to look after yourself.
Health is wealth and someday soon your body will make you poor. Until then, run free, walk tall, and enjoy every second of complete freedom.
☮ & ♥